I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
