there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
