For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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