The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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