I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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