I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
