Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
