I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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