This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
