You're so nebulous sometimes
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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