she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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