No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
