Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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