Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
