I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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