You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
