I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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