that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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