So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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