i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what day is it and did you see me today?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize