Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
