i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
from now on my penis is your penis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We are all done wearing pants today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
