we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
