Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
