mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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