So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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