I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
