The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
