..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize