I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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