You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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