Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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