the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize