we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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