You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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