i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
