lets start a swedish sibling band together
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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