I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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