it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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