Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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