I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
