He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
