Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
even my farts smell like vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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