I heard we made out
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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