ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
