how can u be prego again
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
