actually, I'm a sock model
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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