You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
