At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
