i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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