I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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