Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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