just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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