it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
