i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
