It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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