i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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