I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
