He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
