This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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