I think I just saw someone hide a body.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize