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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.

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