Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
