We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
