just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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