It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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