Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
