i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
