just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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