Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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