i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.