Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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