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• (949): View more from California

  Getting food. Want anything?

  (1-949): View more from California

  Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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• (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

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• (917): View more from New York City

  This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.

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• 

  These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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• 

  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  ...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over

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• (+45): View more from Denmark

  I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Does this mean I have to put a bra on now

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