if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.